2 Misconceptions About Love & How to Turn Toxicity into Healthy Boundaries

The video is about misconceptions about love and how to turn toxicity into healthy boundaries, featuring a conversation between Jay Shetty and Jesu Joe, a licensed therapist and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp.

The video is part of a series where the host, Jay Shetty, goes to therapy sessions with Jesu Joe, a licensed therapist and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp. They discuss the misconceptions about love and how to turn toxicity into healthy boundaries. They also talk about the importance of maintaining professional boundaries in therapy and how therapists are encouraged to go to therapy themselves to manage their feelings and avoid transference and countertransference. The video is sponsored by BetterHelp.

• Jay Shetty and Jesu Joe discuss misconceptions about love and how to turn toxicity into healthy boundaries.
• Jesu Joe is a licensed therapist and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp.
• Jay Shetty likes to experiment with new ideas and creative ways of helping people learn about their journey towards happiness, healing, and health.
• Therapists are trained to monitor the relationship building process and maintain a professional line.
• The goal of therapy is to help clients meet their ambitions and goals, not to fulfill the therapist's emotional intentions or ego.
• It is important to recognize where your partner is coming from and try to see things from their perspective to build healthy relationships.
• Relationships should be a safe space where trust is established.
• Setting healthy boundaries is important in relationships to avoid toxicity.
• Effective communication and self-reflection are key to maintaining healthy relationships.

2 Misconceptions About Love & How to Turn Toxicity into Healthy Boundaries - YouTube

Introduction

• Jay Shetty and Jesu Joe discuss misconceptions about love and how to turn toxicity into healthy boundaries.
• Jesu Joe is a licensed therapist and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp.
• Jay Shetty is a best-selling author and host of the number one Health and Wellness podcast on purpose.
• The episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Experimenting with Therapy

• Jay Shetty likes to experiment with new ideas and creative ways of helping people learn about their journey towards happiness, healing, and health.
• He started a series where he goes to therapy and records the session as an episode to show how accessible, simple, and useful therapy can be.
• The series also helps people get to know Jay Shetty better and encourages conversations about personal growth.
• The episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Building a Relationship with a Therapist

• Jay Shetty and Jesu Joe discuss how quickly people can build a relationship with their therapist because of vulnerability.
• Therapists are trained to monitor the relationship building process and maintain a professional line.
• Clients can develop strong feelings for their therapist, which is called transference, and therapists can develop feelings for their clients, which is called countertransference.
• Therapists are encouraged to go to therapy and consult with other people to manage their feelings and protect their clients.
• The goal of therapy is to help clients meet their ambitions and goals, not to fulfill the therapist's emotional intentions or ego.

2 Misconceptions About Love & How to Turn Toxicity into Healthy Boundaries - YouTube

The Importance of Stepping Outside of Yourself in Relationships

• Jay Shetty and Jesu Joe discuss the importance of stepping outside of yourself and seeing things from your partner's perspective in relationships.
• People often think that nobody cares about them because they are not stepping outside of themselves.
• It is important to recognize where your partner is coming from and try to see things from their perspective to build healthy relationships.
• Setting healthy boundaries is also important in relationships to avoid toxicity.
• The episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

What a Relationship Means to Jesu Joe

• Relationships are a sacred exchange of energy.
• Positive and healthy energy is important for both people.
• Relationships should be a safe space where trust is established.
• Openness should not be used against you or taken advantage of.
• Knowing the other person is important, not mind-reading, but understanding each other through shared experiences.

Jesu Joe's Misconceptions About Love

• Jesu Joe was in love with the idea of love.
• Her initial ideas on love were based on bad movies.
• Bollywood movies portrayed a glamorous view of love.
• Hollywood movies portrayed a lusty view of love.
• Jesu Joe wanted to be in love without knowing what it required from the other person.

Jesu Joe's Issues with Dating

• Jesu Joe was overly giving in her relationships.
• She did this because she wanted the other person to like her.
• She didn't actually know anything about the other person.
• She liked the idea of someone she felt attracted to liking her and validating her.
• Her worldview was developing, and this impacted her personal philosophy.

The Impact of Engaging in Emotionally Charged Activities as a Developing Young Mind

• Substances, cannabis, alcohol, and sex are highly emotionally charged activities.
• Engaging in these activities as a developing young mind can impact your worldview and personal philosophy.
• Research shows that kids who engage in these activities have a higher prevalence of mental health issues.
• It's difficult to reconcile these experiences as an adult.
• It's important to understand the impact of these activities on developing young minds.

Teenage Relationships and Parental Influence

• Teenage relationships are likely to involve mistakes and pain.
• Parents may have different views on relationships and may not always communicate them effectively.
• Parents may set rules without fully explaining their reasoning.
• Teens may feel pressure to date or not date based on cultural expectations.
• Teens may be attracted to dating because it is forbidden or seen as a sign of maturity.

Learning from Failed Relationships

• Failed relationships can lead to heartbreak and feelings of victimization.
• Over-giving and setting unrealistic standards can be unhealthy in relationships.
• Monasticism can provide an opportunity for self-reflection and redefining one's understanding of love.
• Living as a monk can also develop skills that are useful in dating, such as patience, commitment, and mindfulness.
• Re-identifying what love means to oneself can lead to healthier relationships.

Turning Toxicity into Healthy Boundaries

• Setting boundaries is important for maintaining healthy relationships.
• Boundaries can be physical, emotional, or mental.
• Boundaries can be communicated through direct conversation or through actions.
• Boundaries can be flexible and may change over time.
• Boundaries can be a way to show respect for oneself and for others.

The Importance of Communication and Self-Reflection

• Effective communication is key to maintaining healthy relationships.
• Self-reflection can help identify personal values and goals in relationships.
• Self-reflection can also help identify patterns of behavior that may be harmful in relationships.
• Self-reflection can lead to personal growth and a better understanding of oneself and others.
• Self-reflection can also lead to more fulfilling and satisfying relationships.

Reasons for Celibacy in Monks

• Celibacy is practiced to create a sense of focus and aligned energy.
• Monks believe that limiting distractions and focusing on self-realization is important.
• Being celibate is seen as a way to limit energy spent on relationships and focus on self-mastery.
• Monks don't have jobs or partners because they want to limit their distractions and focus on self-realization.
• Carving out exclusive time for self-realization is a healthy commitment to oneself.

Validation in Early Relationships

• Early relationships were about seeking validation from someone else.
• Validation was sought through grand gestures and overcompensating for insecurities.
• Grand gestures were seen as a way to win someone over and have a romantic love like in the movies.
• It took time to understand that grand gestures don't equal love.
• Grand gestures are not the only way to show love.

Investing in Self-Realization

• Investing energy exclusively in self-realization is a healthy commitment to oneself.
• Carving out exclusive time for self-realization is important.
• Therapy is one way to invest in self-realization.
• Investing in self-realization doesn't require becoming a monk.
• Investing in self-realization can be done by understanding oneself over time.

Understanding Clients Better

• Asking about someone's past helps to understand them better.
• Therapists don't know everything about all kinds of people.
• Understanding someone's past helps to accompany them through their exploration of themselves.
• Validation is important in therapy.
• Therapy is a way to understand oneself better.

Misconceptions about Love

• Love is not just grand gestures and big things.
• Over-giving is not love.
• It takes time to become aware of deep-rooted ideas about love.
• Love is expressed differently by different people.
• Learning to express love in a way that your partner receives it is important.

Importance of Healthy Boundaries

• Setting boundaries is important for maintaining healthy relationships.
• Boundaries help to protect your mental and emotional health.
• Boundaries help to establish mutual respect in relationships.
• Boundaries help to prevent resentment and burnout.
• Boundaries can be difficult to set and maintain, but they are worth it.

How to Turn Toxicity into Healthy Boundaries

• Identify toxic behaviors in yourself and others.
• Communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively.
• Be consistent in enforcing your boundaries.
• Practice self-care to maintain your boundaries.
• Seek support from a therapist or trusted friend if needed.

The Importance of Self-Awareness in Relationships

• Self-awareness is important for understanding your own needs and boundaries.
• Self-awareness helps to prevent projecting your own issues onto your partner.
• Self-awareness helps to improve communication and understanding in relationships.
• Self-awareness requires ongoing reflection and introspection.
• Self-awareness is a key component of personal growth and healthy relationships.

Challenges of Navigating Love

• Navigating and learning about love can be difficult.
• Relationships involve realizing together that neither person knows everything.
• There is a deep desire and need to be seen and loved.
• Over-loving can lead to making the other person feel guilty for not loving the same way.
• Keeping tabs on who does what can create unnecessary tension.

Watch the video on YouTube:
2 Misconceptions About Love & How to Turn Toxicity into Healthy Boundaries - YouTube