Why You're Failing to Attract Anyone | Dr. Robert Glover - MP Podcast #105

Last updated: Jul 2, 2023

The video is about Dr. Robert Glover, a marriage and family therapist, discussing his experience and advice on being a compassionate person without being resentful. He talks about his book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and how it focuses on coaching men to take responsibility for their actions and needs, and to develop healthy relationships with others. He also discusses the importance of self-care and nurturing oneself through various practices such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with friends and professionals. The video is hosted by Mikhaila Peterson, who is a lifestyle and diet researcher, and the episode is number 105 of her podcast.

This video by Mikhaila Peterson was published on Aug 17, 2021.
Video length: 01:05:04.

The video is about the concept of being a "nice guy" and how it can lead to failure in attracting others.

Dr. Robert Glover, a marriage and family therapist, discusses the issues with being a nice guy or nice girl and his experience learning how to be compassionate but not resentful. He also talks about his book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and gives relationship advice, expressing inner emotions as men and women, and more.

The video is hosted by Mikhaila Peterson, and the episode is number 105 on her podcast.

Dr. Robert Glover argues that people who struggle to attract others often have a deep-seated fear of rejection and abandonment.
He suggests that this fear can lead to a lack of vulnerability and authenticity in relationships, which can push others away.
Glover also emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's own happiness and fulfillment, rather than relying on others to provide it.

Why You're Failing to Attract Anyone | Dr. Robert Glover - MP Podcast #105 - YouTube

Section 1: Introduction

The video is about Dr. Robert Glover, a marriage and family therapist, discussing his experience and advice on being a compassionate person without being resentful.
Dr. Glover talks about his book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and how it focuses on coaching men to take responsibility for their actions and needs, and to develop healthy relationships with others.
The video is hosted by Mikhaila Peterson, who is a lifestyle and diet researcher, and the episode is number 105 of her podcast.

Section 2: The Problem of Being a "Nice Guy"

Many people, especially men, can go into a "victim puke" where their feelings build up until they explode.
Resentments and frustrations can manifest in passive-aggressive ways or in occasional "victim pukes".
Overly nice people may struggle to express healthy emotions and may repress their hurts, pains, behaviors, thoughts, and impulses.
It can be difficult for overly nice people to find a safe place to reveal themselves and talk about their issues.

Section 3: The First Steps to Expressing Healthy Emotions

The first step in figuring out how to express healthy emotions is to find a safe person or a safe place.
Starting a 12-step group for sex addiction can be a good starting point.
Therapy and men's groups can also be helpful in revealing oneself and talking about one's issues.
It is important to release toxic shame and get accurate feedback from a safe person.

Why You're Failing to Attract Anyone | Dr. Robert Glover - MP Podcast #105 - YouTube

Section 4: The Two Types of "Nice Guys"

There are two types of "nice guys": the "i call it i'm so good nice guy" and the "i'm so bad nice guy".
The "i'm so good nice guy" category is characterized by a deep-seated toxic shame that they work hard to avoid feeling or experiencing.
The "i'm so bad nice guy" category is often the guy that starts rebelling or acting out oppositionally defiant behavior at a young age.
Both types of "nice guys" can benefit from finding a safe person or a safe place to reveal themselves and talk about their issues.

Why You're Failing to Attract Anyone

Dr. Robert Glover, a marriage and family therapist, discusses his experience and advice on being a compassionate person without being resentful.
His book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" focuses on coaching men to take responsibility for their actions and needs, and to develop healthy relationships with others.
He emphasizes the importance of self-care and nurturing oneself through various practices such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with friends and professionals.
Glover believes that being honest and revealing oneself to others is crucial in order to release shame and get more accurate information about who we are.
He recommends people start by being an honest person in a safe environment, and then practice telling their entire truth with people who they are most afraid of overreacting or abandoning them.

The Importance of Self-Care

Dr. Robert Glover discusses the importance of self-care in relationships.
He emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions and needs.
Self-care practices such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with friends and professionals can help individuals develop healthy relationships.
Dr. Glover also discusses the importance of nurturing oneself through various practices.

The Hidden Things that Create Fear

Dr. Glover discusses how people often react to hidden things that create fear.
He emphasizes the importance of revealing oneself and being honest in relationships.
Dr. Glover also discusses how people often project their own personal stories onto others.
He emphasizes the importance of being aware of one's own reactions and how they may be perceived by others.

The Importance of Modeling

Dr. Glover discusses the importance of modeling in helping children develop healthy relationships.
He emphasizes the importance of being aware of one's own behavior and how it may be perceived by others.
Dr. Glover also discusses the importance of surrounding oneself with resources and supportive relationships.
He emphasizes the importance of being conscious of one's own needs and getting what one needs from others.

The Benefits of Cooperative Reciprocal Relationships

Dr. Glover discusses the benefits of cooperative reciprocal relationships.
He emphasizes the importance of both parties feeling that the relationship is beneficial and worthwhile.
Dr. Glover also discusses the importance of being conscious of one's own reactions and how they may be perceived by others.
He emphasizes the importance of being aware of one's own needs and getting what one needs from others.

The Importance of Self-Care

Self-care is important for personal growth and development.
It involves taking care of one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Self-care can help reduce stress and anxiety, and improve overall health and happiness.
It is important to prioritize self-care in order to maintain a healthy relationship with oneself and others.

The Importance of Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships are important for personal growth and development.
They involve open communication, mutual respect, and trust.
Healthy relationships can help reduce stress and anxiety, and improve overall health and happiness.
It is important to prioritize healthy relationships in order to maintain a healthy relationship with oneself and others.

The Importance of Meeting Needs

Meeting one's own needs is important for personal growth and development.
It involves taking care of one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Meeting one's own needs can help reduce stress and anxiety, and improve overall health and happiness.
It is important to prioritize meeting one's own needs in order to maintain a healthy relationship with oneself and others.

The Importance of Judicious Giving

Giving to oneself or to another in a way that promotes spiritual growth is important.
It involves taking care of one's own needs and responding to the needs of others in a timely and judicious way.
Giving judiciously can help reduce stress and anxiety, and improve overall health and happiness.
It is important to prioritize judicious giving in order to maintain a healthy relationship with oneself and others.

The Importance of Self-Esteem

The video is about Dr. Robert Glover, a marriage and family therapist, discussing his experience and advice on being a compassionate person without being resentful.
Dr. Glover talks about his book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and how it focuses on coaching men to take responsibility for their actions and needs, and to develop healthy relationships with others.
He discusses the importance of self-care and nurturing oneself through various practices such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with friends and professionals.
The video is hosted by Mikhaila Peterson, who is a lifestyle and diet researcher, and the episode is number 105 of her podcast.

Raising Children with Self-Esteem

The video discusses the importance of raising children with self-esteem and how it can lead to a more successful and happy life.
It talks about how parents can give their children permission to be imperfect and let them be their imperfect selves, which can be a great gift.
The video also discusses how helicopter parents can be a burden on a child and how it can lead to a belief that they are not good enough.
It talks about how giving children permission to be imperfect can help them develop a strong internalized system where they don't have to use their defense mechanisms or covert contracts.

The Role of Self-Esteem in Attracting Others

The video discusses how having a strong sense of self-esteem can help individuals attract others and feel more confident in their interactions.
It talks about how having a belief that one is valuable and their needs are important can lead to a more positive response from the world.
The video also discusses how having a strong sense of self-esteem can help individuals feel more powerful and in control of their lives.
It talks about how developing a strong internalized system can help individuals feel more confident and secure in their interactions with others.

The Benefits of Self-Esteem

The video discusses the benefits of having a strong sense of self-esteem, including feeling more confident, secure, and in control of one's life.
It talks about how having a belief that one is valuable and their needs are important can lead to a more positive response from the world.
The video also discusses how having a strong sense of self-esteem can help individuals feel more powerful and in control of their lives.
It talks about how developing a strong internalized system can help individuals feel more confident and secure in their interactions with others.

Why You're Failing to Attract Anyone

The video is about Dr. Robert Glover, a marriage and family therapist, discussing his experience and advice on being a compassionate person without being resentful.
Dr. Glover talks about his book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and how it focuses on coaching men to take responsibility for their actions and needs, and to develop healthy relationships with others.
He discusses the importance of self-care and nurturing oneself through various practices such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with friends and professionals.
The video is hosted by Mikhaila Peterson, who is a lifestyle and diet researcher, and the episode is number 105 of her podcast.

Why Relationships Don't Work

Relationships don't work because people don't have enough friendships as well.
People are looking for their partner to fulfill all their needs, which is not possible.
Relationships are not part of our human evolutionary DNA to have lifelong intimate relationships.
Religion and rule systems are used to shame people into trying to make relationships work.

Relationships as Personal Growth Machines

Relationships can be powerful personal growth machines if approached consciously and realistically.
If two conscious people are willing to accept the challenges and difficulty of trying to create an intimate pair bonded relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
Relationships can cause relationships not to go long-term.
Unrealistic expectations we have of relationships are another reason relationships don't work.

Forming Relationships

People tend to be attracted to and marry a person who has some of the worst traits of both of their parents.
People unconsciously get attracted to people that give them the opportunity to work out their dad issues and mom issues.
People expect that their relationship will work for a lifetime and they will be happy the entire lifetime.
If people can be conscious of those pieces, they can watch that stuff coming up and work with it especially if they have help from a coach or therapist.

Section 1: Definition of Ownership Relationships

Ownership relationships are defined as relationships where one person feels that they own the other person and expects them to fulfill all their needs.
These relationships are based on fused identities, where the individuals involved give up other things in their lives to be in the relationship.
The individuals in these relationships expect even more from each other, as they have given up so much to be together.
The individuals in these relationships may not be the same person when they first met, as they have changed and grown over time.
Ownership relationships increase the odds of the relationship not working well by giving up things that were important in their lives.

Section 2: Developing Good Same-Sex Relationships

Developing good same-sex relationships is important for a healthy marriage.
Having good guy friends and girl friends is the foundation for building a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.
When individuals meet someone they want to be friends with, they often make them their best friend and expect them to be everything for them.
Many women do the same thing, expecting their partners to be everything for them.
Developing good same-sex relationships in the beginning of a marriage is important for its success.

Section 3: Personal Experience with Developing Good Same-Sex Relationships

The speaker has been in a men's program for three years and has been married to his present wife for over four and a half years.
The speaker's wife is Mexican and does not speak English, so he had to learn Spanish in his 50s and 60s.
The speaker did not have many male connections in Mexico, as he was raising kids again and working from home.
The speaker was leading a workshop on cooperative reciprocal relationships and had handouts for the men in the program.
The speaker has been in the men's program for three years and has improved his marriage and become more grounded as a result.

Section 4: Importance of Good Same-Sex Relationships in Marriage

Good same-sex relationships are important for a healthy marriage.
Having good guy friends and girl friends is the foundation for building a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.
Developing good same-sex relationships in the beginning of a marriage is important for its success.
The speaker has personal experience with developing good same-sex relationships and has seen the benefits it brings to a marriage.
The speaker recommends that couples develop good same-sex relationships to improve their marriage and their well-being.

Watch the video on YouTube:
Why You're Failing to Attract Anyone | Dr. Robert Glover - MP Podcast #105 - YouTube