12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson

Last updated: Jul 3, 2023

Summary of 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson

12 Rules for Life is a self-help book written by Jordan Peterson, a Canadian psychologist and professor. The book offers a set of twelve principles or rules that can help individuals lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

The first rule is "Stand up straight with your shoulders back." Peterson argues that adopting a confident posture can positively impact one's mental state and how others perceive them. It is a metaphor for taking responsibility and facing the challenges of life head-on.

The second rule is "Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping." Peterson emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-compassion. He encourages readers to prioritize their own well-being and to take care of themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

The third rule is "Make friends with people who want the best for you." Peterson advises readers to surround themselves with supportive and positive individuals who encourage personal growth and success. He emphasizes the influence of social connections on one's well-being.

The fourth rule is "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today." Peterson argues against the destructive habit of constant comparison to others. Instead, he suggests focusing on personal progress and self-improvement as a measure of success.

The fifth rule is "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them." Peterson provides guidance on parenting, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and instilling discipline in children. He argues that this helps them develop into responsible and well-adjusted individuals.

The sixth rule is "Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world." Peterson suggests that individuals should focus on improving their own lives before attempting to change the world. By taking responsibility for their own actions and surroundings, they can have a positive impact on the larger society.

The seventh rule is "Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient." Peterson encourages readers to seek out meaningful goals and values rather than pursuing short-term pleasures or instant gratification. He argues that a sense of purpose and meaning in life leads to greater fulfillment.

The eighth rule is "Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie." Peterson emphasizes the importance of honesty and integrity. He argues that being truthful, both with oneself and others, is essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships.

The ninth rule is "Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't." Peterson advocates for active listening and open-mindedness. He suggests that by genuinely considering others' perspectives, individuals can expand their knowledge and understanding of the world.

The tenth rule is "Be precise in your speech." Peterson highlights the significance of clear and articulate communication. He argues that precise speech helps individuals express their thoughts effectively and avoid misunderstandings.

The eleventh rule is "Do not bother children when they are skateboarding." Peterson uses this rule as a metaphor for allowing individuals to take risks and learn from their mistakes. He encourages parents and society to provide opportunities for growth and exploration.

The twelfth rule is "Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street." Peterson suggests finding joy in the small pleasures of life and appreciating the beauty around us. This rule serves as a reminder to find moments of happiness and gratitude in everyday experiences.

Overall, 12 Rules for Life provides practical advice and philosophical insights to help individuals navigate the complexities of life and find meaning and purpose. It encourages personal responsibility, self-improvement, and the pursuit of truth and meaning.

1. Take responsibility for your own life

In his book, Jordan Peterson emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's own life. He argues that individuals should not blame others or external circumstances for their problems, but instead should take ownership of their actions and choices. By doing so, individuals can gain a sense of control and agency over their lives, leading to personal growth and fulfillment.

By taking responsibility, individuals can also avoid falling into a victim mentality, where they believe that they have no control over their circumstances. Peterson encourages readers to recognize that they have the power to make choices and take actions that can positively impact their lives. This mindset shift can be empowering and can lead to a greater sense of purpose and achievement.

2. Set meaningful goals

Peterson emphasizes the importance of setting meaningful goals in order to live a fulfilling life. He argues that having clear goals provides individuals with direction and purpose, and helps them to prioritize their actions and decisions. Peterson suggests that individuals should set goals that align with their values and aspirations, rather than simply pursuing what society or others expect of them.

Setting meaningful goals also allows individuals to experience a sense of progress and accomplishment. Peterson advises readers to break down their goals into smaller, manageable tasks, and to regularly review and adjust their goals as needed. By setting and working towards meaningful goals, individuals can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment in their lives.

3. Embrace the chaos of life

Peterson argues that life is inherently chaotic and unpredictable, and that individuals should embrace this reality rather than seeking to control or avoid it. He suggests that by accepting the chaos of life, individuals can develop resilience and adaptability, which are crucial for personal growth and success.

Instead of trying to eliminate all uncertainty and discomfort, Peterson encourages readers to confront challenges head-on and to learn from them. He believes that by facing and overcoming adversity, individuals can develop strength and wisdom. Embracing the chaos of life also allows individuals to appreciate the moments of order and stability, making them more grateful and resilient.

4. Speak the truth

Peterson emphasizes the importance of speaking the truth, even when it is difficult or unpopular. He argues that honesty and integrity are essential for personal growth and for building meaningful relationships with others. Peterson suggests that individuals should strive to be authentic and genuine in their interactions, and to avoid deceit or manipulation.

Speaking the truth also involves being honest with oneself and taking responsibility for one's own actions and mistakes. Peterson believes that by speaking the truth, individuals can create a solid foundation for personal and social progress. While it may be challenging at times, embracing honesty and truthfulness can lead to personal growth and stronger connections with others.

5. Take care of yourself

Peterson emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-improvement. He argues that individuals should prioritize their physical and mental well-being in order to live a fulfilling life. Peterson suggests that individuals should take care of their physical health by exercising regularly, eating nutritious food, and getting enough sleep.

In addition to physical health, Peterson also emphasizes the importance of mental and emotional well-being. He encourages readers to engage in activities that bring them joy and fulfillment, and to seek professional help if needed. By taking care of oneself, individuals can improve their overall quality of life and be better equipped to handle challenges and pursue their goals.

6. Seek balance in life

Peterson argues that seeking balance in life is crucial for personal growth and well-being. He suggests that individuals should strive to find a balance between order and chaos, stability and novelty, and work and leisure. By finding this balance, individuals can experience a sense of harmony and fulfillment.

Seeking balance also involves prioritizing different aspects of life, such as relationships, career, and personal growth. Peterson encourages readers to reflect on their values and priorities, and to make conscious choices that align with them. By seeking balance, individuals can lead more fulfilling and meaningful lives.

7. Be grateful

Peterson emphasizes the importance of gratitude in his book. He argues that practicing gratitude can lead to greater happiness and well-being. Peterson suggests that individuals should take time each day to reflect on and appreciate the positive aspects of their lives, no matter how small.

By cultivating gratitude, individuals can shift their focus from what they lack to what they have, leading to a more positive outlook on life. Peterson also suggests expressing gratitude to others, as it can strengthen relationships and foster a sense of connection and appreciation.

8. Pursue meaning, not happiness

Peterson challenges the notion that happiness should be the ultimate goal in life. Instead, he argues that individuals should pursue meaning and purpose, even if it means sacrificing immediate happiness. Peterson suggests that pursuing meaningful goals and engaging in activities that align with one's values can lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

While happiness may come and go, meaning and purpose provide individuals with a sense of direction and fulfillment that can withstand the ups and downs of life. Peterson encourages readers to reflect on what truly matters to them and to make choices that align with their values and aspirations.