Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Last updated: Oct 6, 2023

Summary of Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions is a book written by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, in the form of a letter to a friend who asked for advice on how to raise her daughter as a feminist. Adichie offers fifteen suggestions that serve as a guide to raising a feminist child in today's society.

The first suggestion is to reject the idea of gender roles and to raise the child as an individual rather than as a girl or a boy. Adichie emphasizes the importance of allowing the child to explore their interests and talents without being limited by societal expectations.

The second suggestion is to teach the child that gender is not a limitation and that they can aspire to any career or goal they desire. Adichie encourages parents to expose their children to diverse role models and to challenge traditional gender stereotypes.

The third suggestion is to emphasize the importance of language and to avoid using derogatory terms or phrases that reinforce gender inequality. Adichie encourages parents to use inclusive language and to teach their children to speak up against sexist language and jokes.

The fourth suggestion is to teach the child about the history of feminism and the struggles women have faced in the past. Adichie believes that understanding the history of feminism will help the child appreciate the progress that has been made and inspire them to continue the fight for gender equality.

The fifth suggestion is to encourage the child to question and challenge societal norms and expectations. Adichie believes that critical thinking is essential in dismantling gender inequality and urges parents to foster a sense of curiosity and skepticism in their children.

The sixth suggestion is to teach the child about the importance of consent and bodily autonomy. Adichie emphasizes the need to teach children about boundaries and to respect the autonomy of others.

The seventh suggestion is to encourage the child to read and to expose them to diverse literature that portrays strong female characters. Adichie believes that reading can broaden the child's perspective and help them develop empathy and understanding.

The eighth suggestion is to teach the child about the importance of domestic work and to share household chores equally. Adichie believes that teaching boys to take responsibility for household tasks will challenge traditional gender roles and promote equality in relationships.

The ninth suggestion is to teach the child about the importance of financial independence and to encourage them to pursue their own career and financial goals. Adichie believes that financial independence is crucial in empowering women and ensuring their autonomy.

The tenth suggestion is to teach the child about the intersectionality of feminism and to recognize that gender inequality intersects with other forms of discrimination such as race, class, and sexuality. Adichie encourages parents to teach their children about privilege and to be aware of their own biases.

The eleventh suggestion is to teach the child about the importance of friendship and solidarity among women. Adichie believes that women supporting and uplifting each other is essential in the fight for gender equality.

The twelfth suggestion is to teach the child about the importance of being comfortable with their own sexuality and to challenge societal expectations and double standards. Adichie encourages parents to have open and honest conversations about sex and to promote a healthy understanding of sexuality.

The thirteenth suggestion is to teach the child about the importance of being aware of and challenging beauty standards. Adichie believes that teaching children to value inner qualities and to appreciate diverse forms of beauty will help combat the harmful effects of societal beauty standards.

The fourteenth suggestion is to teach the child about the importance of empathy and compassion. Adichie believes that fostering empathy will help the child understand and fight against injustice and inequality.

The fifteenth and final suggestion is to teach the child that feminism is not about hating men but about advocating for gender equality. Adichie emphasizes the importance of teaching the child to be respectful and inclusive in their feminist beliefs.

In conclusion, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions is a comprehensive guide to raising a feminist child. Adichie's suggestions cover a wide range of topics and provide practical advice for parents who want to raise their children to be advocates for gender equality.

1. Reject the idea of gender roles

In "Dear Ijeawele," Adichie emphasizes the importance of rejecting traditional gender roles. She argues that these roles limit both men and women, and that individuals should be free to express themselves and pursue their interests without being confined by societal expectations. Adichie encourages parents to raise their children without imposing gender stereotypes, allowing them to explore a wide range of activities and interests. By rejecting gender roles, we can create a more inclusive and equal society where everyone has the freedom to be their authentic selves.

2. Teach girls to value their own happiness

Adichie highlights the importance of teaching girls to prioritize their own happiness and well-being. She argues that girls are often socialized to prioritize the needs and desires of others, which can lead to self-neglect and unhappiness. Adichie suggests that parents should encourage girls to pursue their passions, set boundaries, and prioritize self-care. By teaching girls to value their own happiness, we empower them to lead fulfilling lives and challenge societal expectations that prioritize the happiness of others over their own.

3. Encourage boys to embrace vulnerability

Adichie challenges the notion that boys should be tough and emotionally stoic. She argues that boys should be encouraged to embrace vulnerability and express their emotions openly. By allowing boys to be vulnerable, we create a more compassionate and empathetic society. Adichie suggests that parents should teach boys to value emotional intelligence and provide them with the tools to navigate their emotions in healthy ways. By challenging traditional notions of masculinity, we can create a more inclusive and emotionally healthy society for all.

4. Promote the importance of consent

Adichie emphasizes the importance of teaching both boys and girls about consent from a young age. She argues that consent should be a fundamental aspect of all relationships, whether romantic or platonic. Adichie suggests that parents should teach their children about boundaries, bodily autonomy, and the importance of seeking and respecting consent. By promoting the importance of consent, we can create a culture that values and respects the autonomy and agency of all individuals.

5. Challenge beauty standards

Adichie encourages readers to challenge societal beauty standards and embrace a more inclusive definition of beauty. She argues that beauty should not be limited to a narrow set of physical attributes, but should encompass a diverse range of appearances. Adichie suggests that parents should teach their children to appreciate and celebrate different body types, skin colors, and features. By challenging beauty standards, we can promote self-acceptance and create a more inclusive society where everyone feels valued and beautiful in their own unique way.

6. Encourage girls to pursue education and career aspirations

Adichie emphasizes the importance of encouraging girls to pursue education and career aspirations. She argues that girls should be given the same opportunities and support as boys to excel academically and professionally. Adichie suggests that parents should instill in their daughters a belief in their own capabilities and provide them with the resources and support they need to succeed. By empowering girls to pursue their educational and career goals, we can create a more equal society where women have equal representation and opportunities in all fields.

7. Teach boys to share household responsibilities

Adichie challenges the traditional gender roles within households and encourages parents to teach boys to share household responsibilities. She argues that domestic work should not be solely the responsibility of women, but should be shared equally between partners. Adichie suggests that parents should teach boys practical skills such as cooking, cleaning, and childcare, and emphasize the importance of shared responsibilities within relationships. By teaching boys to share household responsibilities, we can challenge gender inequalities and create more equitable partnerships.

8. Embrace intersectional feminism

Adichie emphasizes the importance of embracing intersectional feminism, which recognizes that gender inequality intersects with other forms of oppression such as race, class, and sexuality. She argues that feminism should be inclusive and address the unique experiences and challenges faced by individuals with intersecting identities. Adichie suggests that we should listen to and amplify the voices of marginalized women, and work towards dismantling systems of oppression that affect them. By embracing intersectional feminism, we can create a more inclusive and equitable society for all.