Influencing by Robert L. Dilenschneider

Last updated: Aug 12, 2023

Summary of Influencing by Robert L. Dilenschneider

Influencing by Robert L. Dilenschneider is a comprehensive guide that explores the art of persuasion and influence in various aspects of life. The book provides valuable insights and practical strategies for individuals who want to enhance their ability to influence others effectively.

The author begins by emphasizing the importance of understanding oneself before attempting to influence others. He highlights the significance of self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-control in building credibility and gaining trust. Dilenschneider emphasizes the need for individuals to align their words, actions, and values to establish authenticity and credibility.

The book then delves into the different techniques and tactics that can be employed to influence others. Dilenschneider emphasizes the power of effective communication, including active listening, clear articulation, and persuasive storytelling. He also discusses the importance of non-verbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, in conveying messages effectively.

Furthermore, the author explores the role of empathy and emotional intelligence in influencing others. He emphasizes the need to understand the perspectives and emotions of others in order to tailor messages and arguments accordingly. Dilenschneider provides practical tips for developing empathy and emotional intelligence, such as active observation and practicing empathy exercises.

In addition to interpersonal influence, the book also delves into the realm of organizational influence. Dilenschneider discusses the importance of building strong relationships and networks within organizations to gain support and influence decision-making processes. He provides strategies for effective networking, including building rapport, maintaining professional relationships, and leveraging social capital.

The book also addresses the ethical considerations of influence. Dilenschneider emphasizes the importance of using influence for positive purposes and avoiding manipulative tactics. He encourages individuals to maintain integrity and transparency in their influencing efforts.

Overall, Influencing by Robert L. Dilenschneider is a comprehensive guide that provides valuable insights and practical strategies for individuals seeking to enhance their ability to influence others. The book covers various aspects of influence, including self-awareness, effective communication, empathy, organizational influence, and ethical considerations. It serves as a valuable resource for individuals in both personal and professional contexts who want to become more influential and persuasive.

1. The Power of Listening

One of the key takeaways from "Influencing" is the importance of active listening. Dilenschneider emphasizes that effective communication is not just about speaking, but also about truly hearing and understanding others. By actively listening, we can gain valuable insights, build stronger relationships, and ultimately have a greater influence on those around us.

Active listening involves giving our full attention to the speaker, maintaining eye contact, and avoiding distractions. It also requires us to ask clarifying questions and summarize what we have heard to ensure that we have understood correctly. By practicing active listening, we can demonstrate empathy, show respect, and foster open and honest communication.

2. Building Trust and Credibility

Influencing others effectively requires trust and credibility. Dilenschneider highlights the importance of building a reputation for integrity, honesty, and reliability. When others trust us, they are more likely to listen to our ideas, follow our lead, and be influenced by our actions.

To build trust and credibility, it is essential to consistently deliver on our promises, be transparent in our communication, and act with integrity in all our interactions. Dilenschneider also emphasizes the importance of being authentic and genuine, as people are more likely to trust those who are true to themselves.

3. The Power of Storytelling

Storytelling is a powerful tool for influencing others. Dilenschneider explains that stories have the ability to captivate and engage people on an emotional level, making them more receptive to our message. By incorporating relevant and compelling stories into our communication, we can effectively convey our ideas and influence others.

When using storytelling as an influencing technique, it is important to choose stories that are relatable, memorable, and aligned with our message. By sharing personal experiences or anecdotes, we can create a connection with our audience and make our message more impactful.

4. The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in influencing others. Dilenschneider explains that being aware of our own emotions and understanding the emotions of others allows us to adapt our communication style and approach to better connect with and influence those around us.

By practicing empathy, emotional self-control, and effective communication, we can build stronger relationships and have a greater influence on others. Emotional intelligence also helps us navigate conflicts and difficult situations, as we can better understand the underlying emotions and motivations of those involved.

5. The Power of Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, can greatly impact our ability to influence others. Dilenschneider emphasizes the importance of being aware of our nonverbal cues and using them intentionally to enhance our communication.

By maintaining good posture, making eye contact, and using appropriate gestures, we can convey confidence, credibility, and openness. Dilenschneider also highlights the importance of mirroring and matching the nonverbal cues of others to establish rapport and build trust.

6. The Art of Persuasion

Persuasion is a key skill in influencing others. Dilenschneider explains that effective persuasion involves understanding the needs, desires, and motivations of our audience and tailoring our message accordingly.

By presenting compelling arguments, providing evidence, and addressing potential objections, we can increase the likelihood of others being influenced by our ideas. Dilenschneider also emphasizes the importance of being respectful and ethical in our persuasion efforts, as trust and credibility are essential for long-term influence.

7. The Power of Networking

Networking is a valuable tool for expanding our influence. Dilenschneider highlights the importance of building and nurturing relationships with a diverse range of individuals, both within and outside our immediate circle.

By actively seeking out opportunities to connect with others, attending industry events, and participating in professional organizations, we can expand our network and increase our sphere of influence. Dilenschneider also emphasizes the importance of giving back and helping others, as this can further strengthen our relationships and enhance our influence.

8. The Role of Flexibility and Adaptability

Influencing others requires flexibility and adaptability. Dilenschneider explains that being open to new ideas, perspectives, and approaches allows us to better connect with and influence others.

By being willing to listen, learn, and adapt our communication style, we can effectively engage with individuals who have different backgrounds, experiences, and preferences. Dilenschneider also emphasizes the importance of being open to feedback and continuously improving our influencing skills.