Love Worth Making by Stephen Snyder

Last updated: Aug 30, 2023

Summary of Love Worth Making by Stephen Snyder

Love Worth Making by Stephen Snyder is a comprehensive guide to understanding and improving sexual relationships. The book explores the complexities of desire, intimacy, and communication in order to help couples create a fulfilling and passionate sex life.

Snyder begins by debunking common myths about sex and relationships, emphasizing the importance of open and honest communication. He highlights the role of desire in maintaining a healthy sexual connection and provides practical advice on how to reignite passion in long-term relationships.

The author delves into the different types of desire, including spontaneous and responsive desire, and explains how understanding these dynamics can lead to a more satisfying sex life. He also addresses common issues such as low libido, mismatched desire, and sexual boredom, offering strategies for overcoming these challenges.

Snyder emphasizes the importance of exploring one's own desires and fantasies, as well as understanding and respecting the desires of one's partner. He provides guidance on how to navigate sexual boundaries and negotiate consent, ensuring that both partners feel safe and comfortable in their sexual experiences.

The book also delves into the impact of stress, aging, and medical conditions on sexual desire and performance. Snyder offers practical tips and techniques for managing these factors and maintaining a fulfilling sex life throughout the lifespan.

Throughout the book, Snyder emphasizes the importance of maintaining emotional intimacy and connection outside of the bedroom. He provides guidance on how to cultivate a strong emotional bond, which in turn enhances sexual satisfaction.

Love Worth Making is a comprehensive and insightful guide to improving sexual relationships. It offers practical advice, scientific research, and real-life examples to help couples navigate the complexities of desire, intimacy, and communication. By following Snyder's guidance, couples can create a love worth making.

1. The importance of desire

In "Love Worth Making," Stephen Snyder emphasizes the significance of desire in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship. He explains that desire is not something that can be forced or manufactured, but rather something that needs to be nurtured and cultivated. Snyder suggests that couples should prioritize desire and make it a central focus in their relationship.

He provides practical advice on how to reignite desire, such as creating a sense of mystery and novelty, exploring fantasies, and prioritizing self-care. By understanding the importance of desire and actively working to maintain it, couples can experience a more passionate and satisfying sexual connection.

2. The role of communication

Snyder emphasizes the crucial role of communication in a healthy sexual relationship. He encourages couples to openly discuss their desires, boundaries, and fantasies, creating a safe space for vulnerability and exploration. Snyder provides practical tips on how to improve communication, such as active listening, expressing needs and desires without judgment, and using non-verbal cues to enhance understanding.

By fostering open and honest communication, couples can better understand each other's sexual needs and preferences, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship. Snyder highlights the importance of ongoing communication, as desires and boundaries may change over time, and encourages couples to regularly check in with each other to ensure their sexual connection remains strong.

3. The impact of stress on desire

Snyder delves into the impact of stress on sexual desire and provides insights on how to navigate this common challenge. He explains that stress can significantly diminish desire and offers strategies to mitigate its effects. Snyder suggests creating a stress-free environment by setting aside dedicated time for intimacy, prioritizing relaxation techniques, and engaging in activities that promote stress reduction.

By understanding the impact of stress on desire and actively working to reduce its influence, couples can maintain a healthy and vibrant sexual connection. Snyder's practical advice empowers couples to navigate the challenges of stress and prioritize their sexual relationship despite external pressures.

4. The importance of self-awareness

Snyder emphasizes the significance of self-awareness in cultivating a fulfilling sexual relationship. He encourages individuals to explore their own desires, fantasies, and boundaries, and to communicate them openly with their partner. Snyder provides exercises and techniques to enhance self-awareness, such as journaling, mindfulness, and self-reflection.

By developing a deep understanding of their own sexual needs and preferences, individuals can better communicate and navigate their desires within a relationship. Snyder's insights on self-awareness empower individuals to take ownership of their sexual satisfaction and contribute to a more fulfilling sexual connection with their partner.

5. The role of novelty and variety

Snyder highlights the importance of novelty and variety in maintaining a passionate and exciting sexual relationship. He explains that humans are wired to seek novelty, and incorporating new experiences and activities can reignite desire and prevent sexual boredom. Snyder provides practical suggestions on how to introduce novelty, such as trying new positions, exploring different locations, and incorporating toys or role-playing.

By embracing novelty and variety, couples can keep their sexual connection fresh and exciting. Snyder's insights encourage couples to step out of their comfort zones and explore new experiences together, fostering a sense of adventure and passion in their sexual relationship.

6. The impact of body image

Snyder explores the impact of body image on sexual desire and provides guidance on how to navigate this common challenge. He explains that negative body image can significantly affect self-confidence and desire. Snyder offers strategies to improve body image, such as practicing self-acceptance, focusing on pleasure rather than appearance, and engaging in body-positive activities.

By addressing body image concerns and cultivating a positive self-image, individuals can enhance their sexual confidence and enjoyment. Snyder's insights empower individuals to embrace their bodies and prioritize pleasure, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.

7. The importance of playfulness

Snyder emphasizes the role of playfulness in maintaining a vibrant and enjoyable sexual relationship. He explains that incorporating playfulness and humor can enhance intimacy and create a sense of connection. Snyder provides practical suggestions on how to introduce playfulness, such as engaging in light-hearted teasing, trying new games or activities, and embracing a sense of adventure.

By infusing playfulness into their sexual relationship, couples can foster a sense of joy and spontaneity. Snyder's insights encourage couples to let go of inhibitions and embrace a playful mindset, leading to a more lighthearted and satisfying sexual connection.

8. The impact of emotional intimacy

Snyder explores the profound impact of emotional intimacy on sexual desire and satisfaction. He explains that emotional connection and vulnerability are essential for a fulfilling sexual relationship. Snyder provides guidance on how to cultivate emotional intimacy, such as practicing active listening, expressing appreciation and gratitude, and prioritizing quality time together.

By nurturing emotional intimacy, couples can deepen their connection and enhance their sexual relationship. Snyder's insights highlight the importance of emotional vulnerability and encourage couples to prioritize emotional connection as a foundation for a satisfying and passionate sexual connection.