The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

Last updated: Jul 6, 2023

Summary of The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier is a book that aims to help individuals become more effective coaches and leaders by adopting a coaching mindset and asking powerful questions. Stanier presents a framework of seven essential questions that can be used to engage in more meaningful and impactful conversations.

The book begins by highlighting the importance of coaching in today's fast-paced and complex work environment. Stanier argues that coaching is not just reserved for professional coaches, but is a skill that can be developed by anyone in a leadership position. He emphasizes the need for leaders to shift from providing answers to asking questions, as this approach encourages learning, growth, and autonomy among team members.

Stanier introduces the seven essential questions that form the core of the coaching habit. The first question, "What's on your mind?", helps to create an open and safe space for the coachee to share their thoughts and concerns. The second question, "And what else?", encourages the coachee to explore their ideas further and consider alternative perspectives.

The third question, "What's the real challenge here for you?", helps to identify the underlying issue or problem that needs to be addressed. Stanier emphasizes the importance of focusing on the real challenge rather than getting caught up in surface-level problems.

The fourth question, "What do you want?", helps the coachee clarify their goals and desired outcomes. This question encourages individuals to think about what they truly want and what success looks like for them.

The fifth question, "How can I help?", shifts the focus to the coach and their role in supporting the coachee. Stanier suggests that coaches should avoid jumping in with solutions and instead ask the coachee how they can be of assistance.

The sixth question, "If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?", helps the coachee consider the trade-offs and potential consequences of their decisions. This question encourages individuals to think about their priorities and the impact of their choices.

The final question, "What was most useful for you?", allows for reflection and feedback on the coaching conversation. Stanier emphasizes the importance of continuous improvement and learning from each coaching interaction.

Throughout the book, Stanier provides practical tips and strategies for incorporating these questions into everyday conversations. He also addresses common challenges and pitfalls that coaches may encounter, such as the temptation to provide advice or the fear of asking difficult questions.

In conclusion, The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier offers a comprehensive guide for individuals looking to enhance their coaching skills and become more effective leaders. By adopting a coaching mindset and asking powerful questions, leaders can empower their team members, foster growth and development, and drive meaningful change within their organizations.

1. The Power of Asking Questions

In "The Coaching Habit," Michael Bungay Stanier emphasizes the importance of asking questions as a powerful coaching tool. He argues that most people have a natural tendency to jump into problem-solving mode and offer advice without fully understanding the situation. By asking questions, coaches can help individuals explore their own thoughts and find their own solutions.

Stanier introduces seven essential questions that can be used in various coaching situations. These questions are designed to provoke deeper thinking and encourage individuals to take ownership of their challenges. By adopting a questioning approach, coaches can empower others, foster creativity, and promote self-discovery.

2. The Habit of Telling and the Habit of Asking

Stanier highlights the distinction between the "habit of telling" and the "habit of asking." The habit of telling refers to the tendency to provide solutions, advice, and instructions without fully understanding the problem at hand. On the other hand, the habit of asking involves asking open-ended questions to encourage reflection and generate insights.

By recognizing the habit of telling and consciously shifting towards the habit of asking, coaches can create a more empowering and effective coaching environment. This shift allows individuals to explore their own thoughts, develop critical thinking skills, and take ownership of their actions. The habit of asking also promotes active listening and empathy, as coaches genuinely seek to understand the perspectives and experiences of others.

3. The AWE Question Framework

One of the key takeaways from "The Coaching Habit" is the AWE question framework. AWE stands for "And What Else?" and is a powerful question to encourage deeper exploration and generate more ideas. By asking "And What Else?" after an initial response, coaches can push individuals to think beyond their first answer and tap into their creativity.

The AWE question framework helps to overcome the tendency to settle for the first solution that comes to mind. By exploring additional possibilities, individuals can uncover more innovative and effective approaches to their challenges. This framework also encourages a growth mindset, as it promotes the belief that there are always more options and opportunities to consider.

4. The Focus Question

Stanier introduces the "focus question" as a powerful tool to help individuals identify the real challenge or issue they are facing. The focus question is "What's the real challenge here for you?" and it helps to shift the focus from surface-level problems to the underlying issues.

By asking the focus question, coaches can guide individuals towards a deeper understanding of their challenges and help them uncover the root causes. This question also encourages individuals to think critically and prioritize their actions based on the most significant challenges they are facing. The focus question is a valuable tool for problem-solving and decision-making.

5. The Strategic Question

Another valuable takeaway from the book is the concept of the strategic question. Stanier defines strategic questions as those that help individuals think more strategically and consider the bigger picture. These questions encourage individuals to reflect on their long-term goals, values, and aspirations.

By asking strategic questions, coaches can help individuals align their actions with their broader objectives and make decisions that are in line with their values. Strategic questions also promote a sense of purpose and direction, as individuals are encouraged to consider the impact of their choices on their long-term success and fulfillment.

6. The Learning Question

Stanier emphasizes the importance of continuous learning and growth in "The Coaching Habit." He introduces the learning question as a tool to foster a learning mindset and encourage individuals to reflect on their experiences. The learning question is "What was most useful for you?" and it prompts individuals to identify the key insights and lessons learned from a particular situation.

By asking the learning question, coaches can help individuals extract valuable knowledge from their experiences and apply it to future situations. This question also promotes self-awareness and self-reflection, as individuals are encouraged to evaluate their own actions and identify areas for improvement. The learning question is a powerful tool for personal and professional development.

7. The Lazy Question

Stanier introduces the concept of the "lazy question" as a way to challenge the status quo and encourage individuals to think differently. The lazy question is "How can I help?" and it prompts individuals to consider alternative perspectives and explore new possibilities.

By asking the lazy question, coaches can disrupt the usual patterns of thinking and encourage individuals to step outside their comfort zones. This question also promotes collaboration and creativity, as individuals are encouraged to seek help and input from others. The lazy question is a valuable tool for innovation and problem-solving.

8. The Accountability Question

Lastly, "The Coaching Habit" emphasizes the importance of accountability in achieving goals and driving results. Stanier introduces the accountability question as a way to hold individuals responsible for their actions and commitments. The accountability question is "What are you committed to?" and it prompts individuals to clarify their intentions and take ownership of their goals.

By asking the accountability question, coaches can help individuals stay focused and motivated towards their objectives. This question also promotes a sense of responsibility and encourages individuals to take proactive steps towards their goals. The accountability question is a powerful tool for driving action and achieving desired outcomes.