The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

Last updated: Aug 11, 2023

Summary of The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte is a self-help book that aims to guide readers in discovering their true desires and creating a life that aligns with those desires. LaPorte introduces the concept of setting goals based on how we want to feel rather than what we want to achieve.

The book begins by emphasizing the importance of understanding our core desired feelings (CDFs) – the emotions we most want to experience in our lives. LaPorte argues that by identifying and prioritizing these feelings, we can make choices and set goals that will lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

LaPorte provides a step-by-step process for uncovering our CDFs. She encourages readers to reflect on various areas of their lives, such as relationships, career, and health, and identify the feelings they want to experience in each area. Through a series of exercises and prompts, she helps readers dig deep and uncover their true desires.

Once the CDFs are identified, LaPorte guides readers in creating a Desire Map – a visual representation of their core desired feelings. This map serves as a compass for making decisions and setting goals that are in alignment with these feelings.

The book also explores the concept of goal-setting and how it can be approached in a more soulful and meaningful way. LaPorte encourages readers to set goals that are rooted in their CDFs, rather than external achievements or societal expectations. She emphasizes the importance of focusing on the journey rather than the destination, and finding joy and fulfillment in the process of pursuing our desires.

Throughout the book, LaPorte shares personal anecdotes and insights from her own journey of discovering her core desired feelings. She also provides practical tools and exercises to help readers integrate the Desire Map process into their daily lives.

In summary, The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte is a comprehensive guide to discovering our core desired feelings and using them as a compass for creating a life that aligns with our true desires. It offers a fresh perspective on goal-setting and encourages readers to prioritize their emotional well-being and fulfillment above external achievements.

1. The Power of Core Desired Feelings

In The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte introduces the concept of Core Desired Feelings (CDFs) as a powerful tool for creating a fulfilling life. CDFs are the emotions and states of being that we most want to experience on a daily basis. Unlike traditional goal-setting, which focuses on external achievements, CDFs prioritize how we want to feel in all areas of our lives.

By identifying and aligning with our CDFs, we gain clarity on what truly matters to us and can make decisions that are in alignment with our deepest desires. This approach allows us to create a life that is not only successful by societal standards but also deeply fulfilling on a personal level. By focusing on our CDFs, we can cultivate a sense of joy, purpose, and authenticity in everything we do.

2. The Importance of Authenticity

In The Desire Map, LaPorte emphasizes the importance of living authentically and being true to ourselves. She encourages readers to let go of societal expectations and external validation and instead focus on what truly brings them joy and fulfillment.

Living authentically means honoring our own desires, values, and beliefs, even if they go against the grain or challenge the status quo. It requires us to be honest with ourselves and others, and to make choices that align with our true selves, rather than trying to fit into a mold that society has created for us.

By embracing authenticity, we can create a life that is uniquely our own, filled with meaning and purpose. We can let go of the need for approval and validation from others and instead find fulfillment in being true to ourselves.

3. The Power of Intention

In The Desire Map, LaPorte emphasizes the power of setting intentions and using them as a guiding force in our lives. Intentions are statements that reflect our deepest desires and values, and they serve as a compass for our actions and decisions.

By setting clear intentions, we can align our thoughts, emotions, and actions with what we truly want to create in our lives. Intentions help us stay focused and motivated, and they provide a sense of direction and purpose.

When we set intentions, we are actively participating in the creation of our reality. We are declaring to the universe and ourselves what we want to manifest, and we are taking responsibility for our own happiness and fulfillment.

4. Embracing the Full Spectrum of Emotions

In The Desire Map, LaPorte encourages readers to embrace the full spectrum of human emotions and to allow themselves to feel deeply. She emphasizes that all emotions are valid and serve a purpose, even the ones that are traditionally labeled as negative.

By allowing ourselves to fully experience and express our emotions, we can gain valuable insights into our desires, needs, and boundaries. Emotions can act as powerful messengers, guiding us towards what is truly important to us and helping us make decisions that are in alignment with our authentic selves.

When we embrace the full spectrum of emotions, we create space for healing, growth, and transformation. We become more resilient and better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of life, and we can cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-compassion.

5. Cultivating Self-Compassion

In The Desire Map, LaPorte emphasizes the importance of cultivating self-compassion and treating ourselves with kindness and understanding. She encourages readers to let go of self-judgment and perfectionism and instead embrace their imperfections and vulnerabilities.

Self-compassion involves acknowledging and accepting our own humanity, including our mistakes, failures, and limitations. It means treating ourselves with the same kindness, understanding, and forgiveness that we would extend to a loved one.

By cultivating self-compassion, we can create a foundation of self-love and acceptance. We can let go of the need for external validation and instead find fulfillment and happiness from within. Self-compassion allows us to embrace our authentic selves and live with greater ease, joy, and authenticity.

6. The Power of Gratitude

In The Desire Map, LaPorte highlights the transformative power of gratitude and encourages readers to cultivate a daily gratitude practice. Gratitude involves consciously acknowledging and appreciating the blessings, joys, and abundance in our lives.

By practicing gratitude, we shift our focus from what is lacking to what is present. We train our minds to notice and appreciate the small moments of beauty, love, and joy that often go unnoticed. Gratitude helps us cultivate a positive mindset and a sense of abundance, even in the face of challenges and difficulties.

When we practice gratitude, we invite more blessings and positivity into our lives. We become more attuned to the miracles and synchronicities that surround us, and we develop a deeper sense of connection and appreciation for ourselves, others, and the world around us.

7. The Importance of Boundaries

In The Desire Map, LaPorte emphasizes the importance of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in all areas of our lives. Boundaries are the limits and guidelines that we establish to protect our physical, emotional, and energetic well-being.

By setting clear boundaries, we communicate our needs, values, and limits to others, and we create a safe and respectful space for ourselves. Boundaries help us maintain our sense of self and prevent us from being overwhelmed or depleted by the demands and expectations of others.

When we establish and enforce boundaries, we create space for self-care, self-expression, and personal growth. We honor our own needs and desires, and we create healthier and more fulfilling relationships with others.

8. The Power of Surrender

In The Desire Map, LaPorte explores the transformative power of surrender and encourages readers to let go of control and trust in the unfolding of life. Surrender involves releasing attachment to outcomes and surrendering to the wisdom of the universe.

When we surrender, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and allow life to guide us towards our highest good. We let go of the need to constantly strive and achieve, and instead, we embrace the flow of life and trust that everything is happening for our highest good.

Surrendering allows us to release resistance and find peace and acceptance in the present moment. It helps us cultivate a deeper sense of trust in ourselves and the universe, and it allows us to live with greater ease, joy, and fulfillment.