The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene

Last updated: Oct 1, 2023

Summary of The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene

The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene is a comprehensive guide that offers a new perspective on understanding and managing challenging behavior in children. The book focuses on the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach, which emphasizes collaboration and problem-solving rather than punishment and control.

Greene begins by explaining that explosive behavior in children is not a result of willful disobedience or a desire to manipulate others, but rather a manifestation of lagging skills in areas such as flexibility, frustration tolerance, and problem-solving. He introduces the concept of "Plan B," which involves working collaboratively with the child to identify and address the underlying problems that lead to explosive episodes.

The author emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding in dealing with explosive behavior. He encourages parents, teachers, and other caregivers to view challenging behavior as a form of communication, and to approach it with curiosity rather than judgment. By understanding the child's perspective and identifying the specific unsolved problems that trigger explosive episodes, adults can work together with the child to find mutually satisfactory solutions.

Greene provides practical strategies for implementing the CPS approach in various settings, including home, school, and therapy. He offers step-by-step guidance on how to engage in productive conversations with children, how to identify and prioritize unsolved problems, and how to collaboratively develop and implement plans to address these problems.

The book also addresses common concerns and misconceptions about explosive behavior, such as the belief that children need to be motivated by rewards or punished for their behavior. Greene argues that these approaches are ineffective and can even exacerbate explosive behavior in the long run. Instead, he advocates for a proactive and collaborative approach that focuses on teaching skills and addressing the underlying problems that contribute to challenging behavior.

In addition to providing practical strategies, The Explosive Child also offers hope and reassurance to parents and caregivers. Greene emphasizes that explosive behavior is not a reflection of a child's character or a failure on the part of the caregiver. By shifting the focus from blame and control to collaboration and problem-solving, adults can help children develop the skills they need to navigate the challenges they face.

In conclusion, The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene is a comprehensive and compassionate guide that offers a new perspective on understanding and managing explosive behavior in children. Through the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions approach, the book provides practical strategies for addressing the underlying problems that contribute to challenging behavior, while also emphasizing empathy, understanding, and collaboration.

1. Collaborative Problem Solving

The Explosive Child introduces the concept of Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS), which is a proactive and compassionate approach to addressing challenging behavior in children. CPS focuses on understanding the underlying reasons for a child's explosive behavior and working together with the child to find mutually satisfactory solutions. This approach recognizes that explosive behavior is not a deliberate choice but rather a result of lagging skills and unsolved problems.

By engaging in CPS, parents and caregivers can create a safe and supportive environment for the child to express their concerns and frustrations. This collaborative approach empowers the child to actively participate in problem-solving, fostering their sense of autonomy and self-esteem. Through open communication and empathy, both parties can work towards finding solutions that address the child's needs while also considering the needs of others.

2. Identifying Unsolved Problems

The book emphasizes the importance of identifying and understanding the unsolved problems that contribute to a child's explosive behavior. Unsolved problems are situations or demands that consistently trigger challenging behavior in a child. By identifying these problems, parents and caregivers can gain insight into the specific skills that the child is lacking and the expectations that are overwhelming for them.

Once the unsolved problems are identified, the book suggests using the CPS approach to collaboratively address these issues. This involves engaging in a structured problem-solving process that allows both the child and the adult to share their concerns, perspectives, and ideas for potential solutions. By focusing on solving these problems, parents and caregivers can help the child develop the necessary skills to handle challenging situations more effectively.

3. The Three-Step Plan

The Explosive Child introduces a three-step plan for implementing Collaborative Problem Solving effectively. The first step is to identify the unsolved problems that contribute to the child's explosive behavior. This involves observing and analyzing the situations that consistently lead to challenging behavior.

The second step is to prioritize the unsolved problems based on their frequency, intensity, and impact on the child's daily life. By prioritizing, parents and caregivers can focus their efforts on the most significant challenges and gradually work towards resolving them.

The third step is to engage in the CPS process, which involves collaborating with the child to find mutually satisfactory solutions. This process includes empathetic listening, brainstorming potential solutions, and reaching agreements that address the needs of both the child and the adult.

4. The Empathy Step

The book emphasizes the importance of the empathy step in the CPS process. This step involves actively listening to the child's concerns and frustrations without judgment or criticism. By demonstrating empathy, parents and caregivers can create a safe space for the child to express their emotions and experiences.

During the empathy step, it is crucial to validate the child's feelings and acknowledge the challenges they face. This validation helps the child feel understood and supported, fostering a sense of trust and cooperation. By showing empathy, parents and caregivers can build a strong foundation for effective problem-solving and collaboration.

5. The Define Adult Concerns Step

In the CPS process, the Define Adult Concerns step allows parents and caregivers to express their concerns and perspectives regarding the unsolved problems. This step is essential for ensuring that the child's needs are balanced with the needs of others.

During this step, it is crucial to communicate the specific expectations and concerns that the adult has regarding the unsolved problems. By clearly defining these concerns, parents and caregivers can work towards finding solutions that address both the child's needs and the demands of the situation.

6. The Invitation Step

The Invitation step in the CPS process involves inviting the child to participate in problem-solving and collaborate on finding solutions. This step empowers the child to actively engage in the process and contribute their ideas and perspectives.

By inviting the child, parents and caregivers demonstrate respect for their autonomy and encourage their active involvement in resolving the unsolved problems. This collaborative approach fosters a sense of ownership and responsibility in the child, increasing their motivation to find mutually satisfactory solutions.

7. Flexibility and Adaptability

The Explosive Child emphasizes the importance of flexibility and adaptability in implementing the CPS approach. It recognizes that each child is unique and may require different strategies and interventions.

By being flexible and adaptable, parents and caregivers can tailor the CPS process to meet the specific needs of the child. This may involve adjusting the problem-solving techniques, communication styles, or expectations to ensure that the child feels supported and understood.

8. Long-Term Skill Development

The book highlights the importance of long-term skill development in addressing explosive behavior. It emphasizes that explosive behavior is a result of lagging skills rather than intentional misbehavior.

By focusing on skill development, parents and caregivers can help the child acquire the necessary tools to handle challenging situations effectively. This may involve teaching problem-solving skills, emotional regulation techniques, and communication strategies. By investing in long-term skill development, parents and caregivers can support the child's overall growth and well-being.